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Spot his cues to prove he’s secretly falling for you
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Is there a guy out there who might have feelings for you? Maybe he’s someone you’ve been on a few dates with, or maybe he’s just the office hottie who you flirt with at work. Whoever he might be, uncovering his feelings and seeing if he likes you back takes some subtle detective work. Fortunately, by studying his body language and how he interacts with you, you can make an educated guess as to how he’s feeling about you. Read on to learn about the body language to watch for and how to know that his feelings are more than just platonic.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Look for signs like sustained eye contact and dilated pupils. Typically, this means that someone has feelings for you.
  • Watch for subconscious grooming, like when he touches his hair or fixes his tie.
  • Pay attention to whether or not he mirrors your own body language.
1

He makes eye contact with you.

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  1. Eye contact is a sure sign that someone wants to connect with you.
    When you two talk, does he make it a point to look directly into your eyes? While this can sometimes feel a little intense, it’s a really good sign—it tells you that he wants to keep the conversation going, and that his feelings might be a bit more than surface-level.[1]
    • You might also catch him staring at you, or glancing in your direction frequently.
    • Eye contact can be tough for some people, so don’t take it personally if he has trouble meeting your gaze. For shy guys, avoiding your eyes might be the hint that he likes you.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 2596 wikiHow readers, and 70% agreed that dilating pupils during eye contact is the hardest signal to pick up on when you’re figuring out whether or not someone is into you. [Take Poll] So if you’re struggling to read that body language cue, you’re not alone!
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3

He touches his hair.

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  1. If he has short hair, he might pet the back of his head or smooth the top of his hair down. If he has long hair, he might stroke the ends of it or twirl it around his fingers. This is a sign that he really cares what you think about him, and he’s subconsciously grooming himself to look good for you.[3]
    • Sometimes, men also play with their hair as a subconscious way to make themselves look taller. When his hand is raised to his head, you might perceive him as a few inches taller than he actually is.
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5

He mirrors your body language.

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  1. When you lean back, he leans back, too. If you cross your arms, he crosses his arms, too. He isn’t doing this intentionally—humans automatically mirror someone’s body language when we like them (or want to be like them).[5]
    • Test this out next time you see him by putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your legs. If he does the same thing soon after, there’s a good chance he’s secretly into you.
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6

He smiles around you.

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7

He touches you on the arm.

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  1. Pay attention to how close you two get: does he pat you on the shoulder while you talk? Does he touch your arm after you say something funny? People normally touch someone else when they want to get closer to them, so it probably means that he has deeper feelings for you.[7]
    • He might also pat you on the leg or touch your knee while sitting down.
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9

He faces you.

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  1. When you two are standing to chat, his feet and torso will always be pointed toward you. When you two sit next to each other, he’ll angle his chair to face you. This open body language is a clear non-verbal sign that he has feelings for you.[9]
    • On the flip side, you can tell someone doesn’t really want to chat if they point their feet away from you.
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11

He listens when you talk.

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  1. Have you ever met someone who didn’t actually listen when you spoke? When a guy is secretly in love with you, he’ll be the opposite: you’ll have him hanging on every word you say.[11]
    • He’ll probably ask you follow-up questions and remember everything you say days later—even tiny, mundane details.
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13

He removes obstacles between you two.

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  1. If you two sit at a table with a vase of flowers in the center, he’ll push it off to the side. If he’s holding a bag or satchel, he’ll set it down instead of putting it in front of him. This is because he’s subconsciously showing you that he’s totally open to being with you.[13]
    • People who don’t like each other often subconsciously place barriers in between themselves.
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15

He acts nervous or fidgets around you.

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  1. If your guy is a little bit nervous, you might catch him fidgeting or acting like he can’t stand still when you’re around. This is because he’s excited to see you, but also because he’s afraid of messing things up.[15]
    • Landing a shy guy can be a bit of a challenge, but you can get him to open up by making the first move.
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17

He lends you his coat.

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  1. He doesn’t want to see you shiver—he’d rather freeze in the cold himself than see you suffer. Guys typically only give up their jackets to people they like, so if this happens to you, count yourself lucky.[17]
    • Plus, giving you his coat means you two have to reconnect later on so you can give it back to him.
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References

  1. Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  2. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202107/the-9-primary-signals-flirtation
  4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3411709/
  5. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
  6. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  7. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  8. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  9. Erika Kaplan. Relationship Advisor. Expert Interview

About This Article

John Keegan
Written by:
Dating Coach
This article was written by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 496,931 times.
26 votes - 76%
Co-authors: 17
Updated: July 15, 2025
Views: 496,931
Categories: Featured Articles | Crushes
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 496,931 times.

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