The Funny Thing About Becoming an Author

Watching the News: An Exit Interview

Breaking up with breaking news

Jan 15 • Patrick Eades

9

15

4

December 2025

How to Grow an Online Audience Without Resorting to OnlyFans

By resort to, I mean celebrate the wonderfulness of the human body and it's oblique capacity for side hustling

Dec 18, 2025 • Patrick Eades

17

20

2

A Letter to Expecting Parents From Your Future Child, Name (Hopefully) [Redacted]

Please read, my life depends on it

Dec 4, 2025 • Patrick Eades

16

19

3

November 2025

The Search for a Literary Agent

For the Force is a powerful ally.

Nov 20, 2025 • Patrick Eades

18

25

4

I Was Viciously Attacked in the Groin. Now, I Must Party.

How to celebrate your vasectomy like it's 1999, when you still had an intact vas deferens

Nov 6, 2025 • Patrick Eades

17

19

6

October 2025

Why Is Ghosting Ok in the Literary World?

It's about time we séance that shit

Oct 23, 2025 • Patrick Eades

22

23

3

Ghost Who Portrays Famous Authors in High Brow Humour Pieces Reveals How One Tiny Hack Turned Him Bacterial

If only he hadn't dropped an axe on his toes, or had taken his prescribed course of antibiotics

Oct 9, 2025 • Patrick Eades

15

14

4

September 2025

Writing a Novel Is Just Like Toilet Training a Toddler

Something you should never attempt if you care about your sanity

Sep 25, 2025 • Patrick Eades

18

32

5

Doctor, Will This Vasectomy Affect My Ability to Use Power Tools as a Force for Social Change?

Should SNAGs be snipped?

Sep 11, 2025 • Patrick Eades

19

20

5

August 2025

Medium Should Be a Last Resort Dumping Ground for Your Work

The world is big, Medium is actually very small

Aug 28, 2025 • Patrick Eades

30

32

3

Emergency Service Workers Respond to Emergencies as if They Were Responding to Crying Toddlers

In true emergencies, there's no time for hugs

Aug 15, 2025 • Patrick Eades

13

22

5

July 2025

I Posted a Joke a Day on Substack for the Month of July: Here’s What I Learned About Going Viral (and My Ego)

Spoiler alert: I learnt a lot more about my ego

Jul 31, 2025 • Patrick Eades

24

35

6