I see why Roses  are associated with love… just like love, the life of a Rose is a complicatedly beautiful thing. Of course it starts as a seed (an investment if you will, the hope for something greater).

Next the roots start to grow (the knowing of each individuals true self) I water you and give you a solid foundation to grown in and watch you sprout . I pour into you!

Now you’re budding , you realize your subtle beauty based off of the way that others treat you. They appreciate your illustrious allure & want to buy you but you aren’t quite ready just yet. So they at least reach out to let you know they see you. But still I appreciate you more. Still watering and nurturing you…

You blossomed into everything I wanted and more. You’re standing tall & your confidence is high. You literally reach for the skies with your head pointed towards it. You’ve even developed some thorns to protect yourself from predators lurking… and I’m so proud of you.

But then … no matter how much I invested into you I had a sudden realization that the only thing I was doing was preparing you for another. For you to bring them happiness with everything that I taught… you. (Or at least the nurturing I could offer you) And once I could offer it to you no more it was time to part ways. Which then led you move to a new host.

And even if they take care of you for as long as they can, Roses eventually die… but if taken care of properly, you can cut & feed the stem, and maybe… develop new roots. Then something wonderful happens and the cycle can begin again.

And maybe Love will blossom again. 

-Jugo

I was about 12 years old. My best friend got to spend the night and it was Fall Break from school. My mom and sister we having a day to do girly things (like shopping, manicure, pedicures) so normally they wouldn’t come back until later in the evening. Candy, horror, movies and video games was all we needed.

I had a tv in my room but my sisters was bigger. So we set up camp in her room. We had been watching horror movies for quite some time and had spooked ourselves silly. I forgot to mention, in my sisters room was a doll named Reece. My sister and I are about 8 years apart and she had this doll since she was my current age. A 4 ft tall, ebony doll, with a rotating display mount. So you could put her on the mount and spin her around like a ballerina in her blue shimmering gown.

Often at times, Reece would fall off of her display mount or randomly say one of her witty catch phrases without anyone being present in the room. The weird thing about Reece was that sometimes she would say a phrase that wasn’t in her inventory or appear to be looking at you when she was facing the opposite direction than what she was before.

Even weirder, I remember one time my sister asked me did I move Reece off of her display mount. “No” I said, with my face snarled. Honestly, the doll creeped me out because she was abnormally tall for a plastic figure. I remember my sister placing the doll on the mount before we left for the day. When we came back that evening, the doll was back off of the mount and it kind of gave me an eerie feeling.

Back to the night of the beginning of Fall break, My friend and I just had finished one of our favorite horror movies and now it was time time to place the game. We started playing my Nintendo GameCube. We all of a sudden heard a whispering that we ignored because we thought it was the video game. The game stopped and went back to the main menu and there was a silence that fell upon the room, but, the whispering continued. Unaware to me that my friend muted the tv, I was distracted by my phone. I asked if he was ready for another round but he was startled by something. Something behind me.

As I looked behind me I noticed he was looking at the doll, Reece was close to me. Still on on her stand, you could see the glare from the tv in her eyes. I didn’t think twice. I just rolled her back to her corner and asked if he was ready for another game. “Dude that doll is creepy” He said. “I know right” I said, I told him how she was my sisters favorite and how she moved around and he didn’t believe me.

After we began the second game we heard a loud thud. We looked behind us and sure enough, the doll had fell off of her stand. We looked at each other and I stated “I must have put her up wrong.” as I moved to pick her back up…

This time as I picked her up the whispering began again and I could have sworn, the whispering was coming from the doll. I looked back at my friend, spooked… and looked at him and said “The sound is coming from her!”

I jumped back behind my friend and told him to go and listen, to put his ear near her mouth. He laughed hysterically “sure” he said as he got closer to the doll. “We need to leave, now!” I said. He got closer and his eyes widened as he heard the whispering.

He jumped back and looked me. We both looked at each other, then looked at the doll as her arm started to raise. We ran out of the room and waited outside until my mom & sister came home.

Don’t judge me! I’m the worst with timing. The first step is admitting when you have a problem! My problem is inconsistency. No excuses!!! … But let me tell you what’s been going on .

As you already know, I work from home for my day gig and I picked up a night job too. On the weekends I try to maintain some balance of a social life my going out with my friends. Now have I had time to write… yes! But I’ve also been working on the podcast. So let me catch you up since we last checked in.

My nephew graduated from High School. I had a birthday. I travelled a lil bit and now Im back at it AGAIN!!! Picking up with my favorite time of year! The Fall!

Sooo, here I am again back at it with my Favorite time of year. I’ll be reintroducing some horror stories in celebration of October! Enjoy!

Many see the Fall as a depressing time of year that ultimately transgresses to Winter and the New Year. I see Fall as a time of shedding things you no longer need. You see the leaves changing color until they reach a bronze/brown color, critters start to hibernate and go into hiding, and the weather is a crispy cool. Its the time of year we get to slow down, reflect, and dead anything that is not beneficial to us. Plus we have Halloween & Thanksgiving as a bonus!

If you remember last year I wrote a few Spooky Stories which will send chills down your spine. Go ahead review some of those too! Click the link!

“Climb up! see what’s up there!” She said as I started to climb the steep hill side. They weren’t steps, more like very steep laddered stepping post. About 10 feet high I climbed up and had quite the view. I had a passion for exploring outdoors but knew that if I made it to the top my fear of heights would kick in and I wouldn’t be able to climb back down. My pride and ego wouldn’t let me say “No, we should just keep going along the path we know” The curiosity of my mind made me wonder… what was at the top of short cliff. Curiosity led me to cross a boundary I normally wouldn’t have and now I was stuck not knowing that my fate was sealed.

I peered over the side of the steep hills and could see where the Catawba River twisted and twirled down stream. I knew I had to be higher than 10 feet at this point because I could see the tops of trees. There were 4 nature trails in which you could take. Each one getting progressively more challenging…”Hey I’m to follow the trail up here. I’ll meet you on the other side.” I said as looked over the steep hillside. (Guess who picked the toughest trail)

“WHAT!?” she said with a puzzled look on her face. “Get back down here!” as I proceeded to walk forward I could see where the paths connected below, or so I thought. When I got to the spot I thought I could jump down and there was still a 10 foot drop. Confused I began to follow the path and see where it led.

I followed the path, optimistic and energetic ecstatic by the new scenery. I had my headphones on, music blasting and then a feeling of dread came over me. Sure I was walking a path that many had taken before me… but for the first time I was alone, with no guidance, with many twist and turns down a steady decline. After realizing all of these things, I turned off my music and the silence was deafening.

I looked around, should I go back to where I came from? No I going to get lost, Just keep pressing forward. I picked up the pace a bit an 10 minutes later I realized that I was in a part of the woods that no one had been in for a while. I started to think, My back pack has 2 days supply of water and 1 granola bar could last me 3 days right? I began to panic. The pain beating inside my chest reminded me that I was alone and no one could help me.

Thoughts racing, heart beating, I took a moment to breath and pray. The world stopped, as I felt the sunshine beam on me through the tree tops I heard a voice say “You are never alone! I am always with you. You are smart, just follow the path that is laid out for you.”

But the trees were marked with different colors and I didn’t know which colors meant what, I had self doubt and asked “But am I going the right way?” Out of nowhere a huge dog came barreling my way and right behind him was a guy on a mountain bike going full speed. Clearly this was the only place they could exercise together with out holding back.

I yelled “Hey!!! How tf! do I get out of here!!!!” As I slightly jogged after him. “Just follow the trail!” He yelled back as he left me in the dust. I noticed I was still running after him but could not keep up so. I slowed down and followed the path at my own pace.

Eventually the wooded area opened into a clearing that I recognized. I could see the bike guy and his down pacing back my way. He looked worried as if he should have stayed and guided me properly. But the biggest smile came across his face when he saw I figured out the right path to take. He gave me a peace sign as he trekked back into the woods on his bike.

I called my friend and let her know where to meet me. Literally about 2 miles away from my original location we met in the middle.

The purpose for this story is just a reminder that even your passions can cause you discomfort and pain. You just got to remember why you started and see it through to the end. God will never place you in a situation that you cannot grow in. -Jugo

“If you’re not useful… you’re useless” he said as he took a sip of his Jack and coke.

I interned the summer after I graduated and these profound words still hold affect and rain true to this day. If your time, your energy, and your efforts don’t go to good use, then it is a waste.

How does one recognize their worth? Better yet what does it look like? Today we’ll be discussing how one recognizes their worth, how to gain respect!, confidence, all while upholding their morals and truths.

First off, how does one recognize their worth?

Your “worth” is the value others see in you when they interact with you. It is defined by a certain level of comfortability after individuals have spent time with us. This level of comfortability says a lot how a person will treat you, how they will engage with you and how they respond when they feel challenged around you.

If you notice anyone giving you less than what you deserve, then it is time to look at 2 things. The first is a bit of self reflection. The second is who you are surrounding yourself with.

Once you determine these factors then you should know how to maneuver. (Life is math! If its not adding up start subtracting and watch your blessings multiply then don’t forget to divide it amongst those closest to you)

How to gain respect!

Your worth is much more than what you will be compensated for. It is what your reputation is built on. Its when people say your name and have and instant thought about how they perceive you.

First of all. I don’t care who you are, “Respect gets Respect” be a good human first.

Two be slow to speak and quick to hear.

Three if there is a difference of opinion that’s ok!

Confidence!

Confidence is “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust:”

Cockiness is “conceited self -assurance” (conceited-excessively proud of oneself; vain:)

Pride– a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired:

Pride comes before the fall. There is nothing wrong with being proud of things. Your Heritage and Beliefs are a few examples… Its when you don’t know something and begin spouting it as truth that it becomes detrimental.

That is ignorance. The goal is for the betterment of mankind, for the future. For those that come after us.

Work Cited:

Patterson, Morton. “Seven Signs You Know Your Value and Self-Worth.” Management 3.0, 13 Mar. 2019, management30.com/blog/knowing-your-value-self-worth/. https://management30.com/blog/knowing-your-value-self-worth/

Sea, Beyond The. “20 THINGS YOU REALIZE WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH.” The Ocean Minded, 2 Nov. 2018, theoceanminded.com/2018/11/01/20-things-you-realize-when-you-know-your-worth/.https://theoceanminded.com/2018/11/01/20-things-you-realize-when-you-know-your-worth/

“Yeah you talk a good game, but you don’t ever back it up! Either you gone do it or you not.” She said to me as we were walking down the path of a nature trail. We were talking about our goals, ambitions, and ideas we had for a while to create the lives we wanted. I stated “timing is key, I’m waiting on…” in which she rolled her eyes. I always played it cautious and calculated. She was more impulsive and had no regrets. The thing I appreciated about my friend was if she said it she meant it. If she said she was going to do something that thing would be done to the best of her ability. She was keen at setting time frames, expectation dates, and delivering outstanding results.

That’s what separates a lot of great people in society from the average folks. Let me be clear there is nothing wrong with being average and living a simple life, but if you aspire for more you have to be willing to do what others aren’t. You cannot settle for average effort or the bare minimum when it comes to the your life. Ask yourself when is the last time you set a goal and achieved it!

Today we will be discussing how to not only make your words and actions match, how to come up with a sound plan and execute consistently. More importantly how to chose actions over excuses.

Actions Speak Louder

“When all is said and done, more is always said than done”(Fern).

If its been a while I challenge you to make a list and start from top to bottom. Make the list a list of small achievable goals you can accomplish before the end of the month. Start your list with something like learning a quick skill, like becoming a better listener. Other examples include using the different features on your phone or learning a new recipe to cook, you can literally Youtube this! Elevate to something a little more time consuming like finishing that side project you’ve been working on for a while, or learning how to edit photos or videos. Starting small and scaling up keeps you sharp and creative, since we are beings that constantly learn, we need to be challenged constantly as well if we wish to improve and be the best versions of ourselves.

“The way people conduct themselves in different situations is a greater determinant of behavior and character than the words through which they choose to express themselves. What you do holds much more significance than what you say” (Fern.)

Managing Your Words

“Managing our time needs to become a ritual too. Not simply a list or a vague sense of our priorities. That’s not consistent or deliberate. It needs to be an ongoing process we follow no matter what to keep us focused on our priorities throughout the day”(Bregman). To manage your words is set a schedule to deliver results. To deliver in the most effective way we have to act in a way which shows a well thought out process and have a of urgency. Put a date on it!

Bregman also list 3 steps in planning your day. He roughly estimates that this process will only take about 18minutes, here I will count them down and summarize:

“STEP 1 Set Plan for Day. Before turning on your computer, sit down with a blank piece of paper and decide what will make this day highly successful. What can you realistically accomplish that will further your goals and allow you to leave at the end of the day feeling like you’ve been productive and successful? Write those things down… take your calendar and schedule those things into time slots, placing the hardest and most important items at the beginning of the day”(Bregman). He states that this should be done as soon as you wake up, before you even turn on your phone or computer. I recommend doing this after a morning meditation.

STEP 2 Refocus. Bregman states that every hour you should take a minute to refocus on your goal and re-center.

STEP 3 Review. Lastly, at the end of the day you should shut off your computer and review your day. What worked? Where did you focus? Where did you get distracted? What did you learn that will help you be more productive tomorrow?…The power of rituals is their predictability. You do the same thing in the same way over and over again. And so the outcome of a ritual is predictable too. If you choose your focus deliberately and wisely and consistently remind yourself of that focus, you will stay focused. It’s simple…” (Bregman).

These are just a few instances in which we can act on our words. The importance of acting on your words reveals so much about your character. Your character is viewed by your peers in which they decipher what kind of person you are. If you say more than you can do or “Bite off more than you can chew” people deem you as untrustworthy. To build trust and have a reputable status in the community you have to DELIVER!!!

“You don’t have to be smart to have great ideas, it does take bravery and confidence to act on those ideas however…”-Jugo

Work Cited

Bregman, Peter. “An 18-Minute Plan for Managing Your Day.” Harvard Business Review, 4 May 2015, hbr.org/2009/07/an-18minute-plan-for-managing.

Fern, Ashley. “Actions Speak Louder Than Words.” Elite Daily, Elite Daily, 6 June 2013, http://www.elitedaily.com/life/motivation/actions-speak-louder-than-words.

Normally on late Summer afternoon on a Sunday, I would go pick up my friends and we would just ride around town music blasting. On this particular day I could tell the energy was off. We laughed and cracked jokes, But it was like they forced themselves not to have a good time. Like one would tell a joke, the other would laugh and immediately stop.

As the day was winding down, I took them home. In the car ride of the last guy I took home he asked “How can I be happy with someone who has recently made me upset?” I pulled over so we could chat. After he told me what happened it was clear he was in the wrong. I asked him one question, “You would let one instance of negativity kill your joy and happiness?” He said, “I guess I shouldn’t, I just feel bad for what I did man.” I stated “First thing you gotta do is forgive yourself, get right with God, then offer a sincere apology. It’ll all work out how its supposed to. Time gone keep moving forward”

Today I’ll be addressing how to forgive yourself truly. Forgiving your past, forgiving those who have influenced you, and most importantly forgiving yourself. Bad/Embarrassing things that happen in an instance, don’t last forever.

Forgiving Your Past!

“Forgiveness means letting go of the past.” —Gerald Jampolsky

“When we try to forgive ourselves, we’re trying to release something that feels like it is part of us. We’re releasing who we were in the moment that we did whatever it was”(James). What is meant by “let go” ? It is the acceptance and releasing of any situation or circumstance that causes you discomfort. Easier said than done I know, but one of the things that has helped me is journaling. I would write out the conversations I would have with certain individuals and how different scenarios would play out.

I would practice the conversations and have them with the individuals I had wronged. (In which you would be surprised of someone else’s account of a situation.) The majority of the time we place unnecessary angst on ourselves because we regret the decisions we made in a moment. We think we are being judged by our peers but we all have our on perspectives. The way you view an unfortunate event isn’t how the world views it. You are but a drop in a bucket, in the ocean of information and experiences. Once you realize how juvenile most circumstances are the easier they are to look past.

Forgiving Influencers

“When we forgive what someone else has done, in a sense it feels easier.”(James) And that is because we have a scape goat to place the blame on if, we feel we are not in the wrong. However, no-one is perfect. “Just about every relationship that you’ve ever been in requires some forgiveness to maintain itself,” he says. “Everyone is flawed, and our perceptions are too. So getting hurt is inevitable. We have to have a mechanism for letting it go and making peace, in order to have happy sustainable relationships”(Stanford).

We create attachments to people, places, events, and experiences we enjoy. When we are are happy with these circumstances we find it hard to see the flaw in the experiences. When the situation is flawed, we come up with excuses to overlook the negative experience we had. So much so we turn to blaming ourselves even when we are not in the wrong. Depending on whether or not the circumstance is healthy for us I recommend the “Forgive but not forget” approach. And remember you are not to blame for all life’s lows. The way you react however is in your control.

Forgiving Yourself!

Lets face it, we all have somethings that we have done that we are not proud of. Lies, regretful decisions, and many unforgettable moments that if we could, we would change. (I should have kissed her!, I shouldn’t have lied!, I should have spoken up! or I shouldn’t have said anything, I shouldn’t have came to this party, or I should have been more social, I shouldn’t have worn this outfit!.) The way to get past this is by recognizing the mistake, realizing and embracing the mistake, regret or decision and lastly thinking of the instance as a learning lesson, so that way when opportunity presents itself again you can make another decision. “When you give a voice to the thoughts in your head and the emotions in your heart, you may free yourself from some of the burdens. You also imprint in your mind what you learned from your actions and consequences.”(Lindberg)

We struggle with forgiveness because we live in a society where we feel perfection is attainable. We hate to make mistakes and live with consequences. Like a child being scorned for something they did wrong, we don’t want our peers to have any perceptions of us that don’t portray is in a positive light.

An exercise I recommend is looking in the mirror the next time you feel that regrettable decision and look at yourself. Accept the behavior, say “I did it, I was wrong, I made a mistake. But I still love you. I will try harder, I will get better, one day at a time.”

Forgiving yourself is the ultimate guide to choosing oneself and self improving/. -Jugo

Work Cited

James, Matt. “How to Forgive Yourself and Move on From the Past.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 22 Oct. 2014, http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201410/how-forgive-yourself-and-move-the-past.

Lindberg, Sara. “12 Tips for Forgiving Yourself.” Healthline, 25 July 2018, http://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself.https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself#11.-Show-kindness-and-compassion

STANFORD. “8 Tips for Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You.” STANFORD Magazine, Stanford University, 12 Dec. 2019, stanfordmag.org/contents/8-tips-for-forgiving-someone-who-hurt-you.