13 Saturday Sep 2025
Posted in Inspiration, Love, Strength
When they tell you
It’s a door sealing shut
On that little girl
You were
And on someone
You are not
Anymore.
When they tell you
You’re not starting
Back at one
But from experience
And from what
You didn’t know before.
And they tell you
Your world has
To fall apart
For you to break new ground
For this whole new one.
And
They tell you to
Let go
Of what once was
So you can open
Up your hands
For all the growth
You’ve been praying for—
Believe them.
01 Friday Aug 2025
Posted in . . . pain, Inspiration, Strength
My eyes adjust to the dark
As I sit in quiet
And hope
That perhaps I will summon
My art
Through words
And an exhausted heart
Bound by rope
And bandages
All bled through
And crimson stark
Against the colour
I’m trying to distract you
With
To keep you from
Seeing what it looks like
If
I carry this ache
And not deal with it
Coz I’m deep
In the trenches of
Panic and scars
All relived
Knowing the start
Of my re-healing is
A call
If I could just make it—
Sitting in the dark
Letting that winter
Chill creep in
Knowing that dawn is far
And feeling that wait
So deep in
The places of my heart
Where the wounds
Keep on festering
Waiting
For the right art
And the right time
To let the light in.
16 Sunday Feb 2025
Posted in . . . pain, Disillusionment, Strength
Your lady hormones will tell you
That perhaps
You should step up to the
Edge
Of the ledge
And just
Jump.
Your lady hormones will tell you
That perhaps
You should swerve into
The other lane
And keep your foot
On that pedal
As the traffic’s coming
At you
Head on.
Your lady hormones will tell you
About the scary statistics
About self-perishing and periods
When it’s close
To that time of the month
And maybe you
Should be one.
Your lady hormones will tell you
All kinds of dark
Stupid shit
But don’t listen
To any of it
I promise you
That next week
You’ll feel loads better
When it’s done
🙏🏿
08 Monday Jul 2024
Posted in . . . pain, Disillusionment, Inspiration, Love, Strength
I’m starting to forget even
The memory of your face
The echo of your voice is
Starting to fade
I don’t think I can recall, fully
What my life was like
Before time and life
Packed you up and shipped you
Away.
I find myself
Desperately seeking out traces
Of those little pieces of us
That endured and weren’t
Erased
And I stand there, so still
In those beautiful little spaces
Knowing full well, that one day
There will be nothing that
Remains.
I retired your number today
I was finally brave
Enough to
Press delete
And I hope for my own peace
And my own sake
That this will be
The last wound
I’ll have to cleanse
So I can truly heal…
02 Sunday Jun 2024
Posted in Inspiration, Strength
I took out the trash today.
I think that’s a win.
I actually left my bed
And had a bath.
I think that’s a good thing.
I had a tall glass of water,
Took my meds,
With a full meal.
I haven’t said a bad word
To and about myself
And it’s almost 12pm!
Win!
I didn’t shatter my nervous system
With anxious doom-scrolling.
A win.
I took the kind words offered
To me, without cringing.
That’s a win, right?
I was gentle with myself
In my mistakes, in my self-correcting.
And when she asked me
How I was doing,
I told her that I was alive,
And I truly meant it.
13 Monday May 2024
Posted in . . . pain, Strength
I can cry myself showers.
Leave a muddy trail in the sand.
Endless sobbing for hours.
For feelings I don’t understand.
And never will.
Spin myself dizzy from dancing.
Pretend away the pain in my hands.
From holding the world’s weight
Just coz I can —
26 Friday Apr 2024
Posted in . . . pain, Disillusionment, Question Marks . . ., Strength
Thoughts
Loud
Chaotic
Messy.
Put them somewhere
Or let them wreck me.
Break me.
Silence
All else
In me
Until all that’s left
Is — something —
Other
Than me.
Write it out
Until I can’t hear
The sound
Of the endless echo
Of whatever these
Beasts are
Shouting about.
Until they’re not
So loud.
Until they’re so
Far out
And separate
And far away
That no trace
Of them
In sight and sound
Can be found
For miles
And minds around —
17 Sunday Dec 2023
Posted in Strength
Tags
Art, Life, Melancholy, Mental Health, Poems, Poetry, Self, Story, Truth, Words
I don’t blame you
For looking at me blankly
And being unable.
I don’t blame you
For staying silent
In your little bubble.
I don’t blame you
For covering your ears
In the chaos of this struggle.
I don’t blame you
For staying in your corner
As the world around you
Crumbles.
Because
I don’t see as you see
And I’ve never been where
You’ve been.
All these paths we walk
On the daily
May never have us on
The same feels.
Because
Despite
Both of us showing
Signs of life
Your heart may never beat
The same as mine.
And even though we have
The same 24 hours
A day in time
Our paces and goals
May never align.
I don’t blame you
For leaving the room
When it gets too loud
And too glitchy in your mind.
And I don’t blame you
For using what’s
Left of your fight
To safeguard what
Remains of
Your flickering light.
23 Saturday Sep 2023
Posted in Inspiration, Love, Strength
I wrote a song for you
And I sang it to myself
Where nobody could
Hear it,
Not even you.
Because I knew
That the depth of
Its meaning would
Scare you,
And now you’re gone
And I don’t know what
To do.
The words echo
Back to me
In this empty room
And so I keep singing
Just so I
Don’t feel so lonely,
But now I find
Myself truly
Listening
And
I realize that
All this love I’ve been
Giving to you, quietly
Should have been loud
And beautiful
For me —
04 Tuesday Jul 2023
Posted in . . . pain, Disillusionment, Strength
Everytime I think I’m
Done with you
All that dark energy
Forces its way through.
And all I see is
Black
And a world stained red.
Every thought is
Blasphemy
And anarchy
A sound, on repeat —
Click. Click. BOOM!
And I remind myself
That I had seen this coming
That all of this is
Just old news
But
I see your face
And someone mentions
Your name
And I want to rid
My World of you.
I want to tap into my settings
And press a few buttons
That block you from view.
Not just in these 3 apps
I repeatedly scroll through
But deep in my mind, too
And my soul
And heart —
You!
I want you to blink
Out of existence
To vanish like dust
Blown on the wind
And be wiped
From my conscious
Thoughts
And memories
And the stories
Of lessons taught
To me
By God
And Lucy
And my Ancestors
And Life and it’s
Cruelty.
I can’t stand you.
Will never do.
Be gone from me
Forever
You
B*
JaneAuthor 