Alternate titles:

• What do I want from God?
• What should I want from God?
• What does an ideal relationship with God look like?

I don't know what an ideal relationship with God looks like. But, I'll share where I'm at. This post contains:

1. An analogy
2. Some thoughts about the ideal relationship with God
3. Some thoughts on how I can get there

I have far more knowledge, wisdom, etc. than my kids do. Also, I am in the position of authority in my relationship with each.

Because I have authority, I get to dictate the terms of my relationship with each of them. Because I have more wisdom and knowledge, and because I love them, the terms I dictate are better than the terms they would dictate if they had the authority.

Examples:

• They might prefer that I never discipline them. But withholding discipline would stifle their growth.
• They might prefer I play with them late into the night. But if they're not asleep in time, they'll be grumpy and miserable tomorrow.
• They might prefer I let them watch TV and movies all night. But other types of activities will fulfill them more.

I expect it's similar with God.

Which of you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? No one. But I might give her something better. Examples:

• If my daughter asks for a fish, but she really needs to learn to fish, I might teach her to fish rather than give her a fish.
• If my daughter asks for a pet serpent, I might instead give her a pet fish, which in my greater wisdom, might be better for her.

So, my working hypothesis is:

• God's wisdom and knowledge are infinitely beyond mine
• God knows what's best for me.
• God loves me
• God will therefore give me what's best for me rather than what I want.
• If God and I disagree about what's best for me, God is right and I am wrong.

This side of eternity, what is the best possible relationships I can have with God? Is my current relationship with God already the best it could possibly be, or could it be better?

It's tempting to draw up my own picture of the ideal relationship with God. But what if I don't get that? God is trustworthy. Sometimes faith means "trusting God" rather than "trying to be in control". If He doesn't grant my wish, it's because I wished for what wasn't best for me. I wished for a serpent but need a fish. I wished for a fish but need to learn to fish. I must not have a narrow view of what the ideal relationship with God looks like.

I must try to be open-minded. He knows better than me. Can I find hints in the Bible?

Jesus hints I can be spiritually satisfied, even though right now I feel spiritually famished.

• He offers living water. Whoever drinks it will never be thirsty again. It will become in him a spring af water welling up to eternal life.
• Jesus is the bread of life; whoever comes to him shall never hunger or thirst

Of course, I'll never have an ideal relationship with God by doing things my way. He is infinitely wiser than me. The only way to get the best results is to do things the best way (and He knows what's best). If I want a great relationship with God, I must do it His way.

Clearly, in this relationship, I'm not the initiator. I've pushed Him away more times than I can count. But God wants a relationship with me anyway. He sent Jesus to live and die so that relationship can be restored. I can never earn God's love. I'm glad He loves me anyway.

So, first question. Is there any command God has given me that I haven't obeyed? If so, I'm not doing things God's way.

Second question: Am I seeking God with all my heart and soul? Do I love Him?

I don't know exactly what it means to "love God", but it at least means to value God more than anything else. Honestly, I have not been seeking God all that hard lately. I guess that's because I don't value Him accurately.

And here I am, spiritually hungry. Famished, even.

It's time to adjust my values. We seek what we value.

Time to start that journey.