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I think about her, you know? I think about what she was going through, carrying mountains on her shoulders and fighting battles nobody could see. The me from 11 years ago, looking into the mirror and trying to figure out how on earth I was gonna survive this. The me from 10 years ago, waking…
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People with chronic headache disorders statistically commit suicide after 5 years. Today marks 12 years for me. It was a bright, sunny Tuesday afternoon; Spring Break had just finished. I had woken up with a headache 4 days prior; but while leaving softball practice that afternoon, I was hit in the back of the head…
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Grief is a funny thing. People grieve for lost loved ones. You grieve for a version of yourself that’s been lost to time. The you at 5 years old that picked up a volleyball for the first time. The you at 16 years old that looked forward to volleyball practice after school just because you…
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Living a hard, weary life, one filled with excruciating and dramatic chronic pain, there are so many things we wish the world knew. Like how long we stand in front of the mirror, giving ourselves a pep talk as we try to hold the tears back, before going out and joining the world of normality.…
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There are moments in life when everything fades to grey and you feel the end is near. The world slows down to the speed of a snail, every detail is accentuated in technicolor, and your senses become overwhelmed with the crisp details of life like you’re just now noticing them for the first time. They…
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This picture shows how I spent my birthday. I turn 22 years old today and I had to convince myself to get out of bed. The last 2-and-a-half days, I couldn’t even do that. It could be because I started Student Teaching this week and I pushed through the pain in order to show up…
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5 years is a milestone for headache warriors. It’s been shown in different studies that after 5 years of headache pain, it becomes substantially more difficult for doctors to diagnose, to treat, and to cure. Headaches are a field of study that is still largely unknown and mystifying in the medical field. But the 5-year…
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It’s been 6 years. 52,560 hours. 3,153,600 minutes. 189,216,000 seconds. It’s probably silly to know how many seconds are in 6 years. Why would that even matter? But I’ve learned over these past 6 years, that my life has been reverted to getting through one day at a time, one hour at a time, one…
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It’s not all smiles and laughter. It’s not always hallelujahs and singing praises. It’s not easy breezes and sunshine days. It’s sudden mood swings that hit you out of nowhere because that’s how your body chooses to cope. It’s being so exhausted from a simple trip to the doctor’s that you have to cancel plans…
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“What’s it like, the pain?” I’ll say it’s not so bad because it’s become such a habit for me to spare them. If I’m feeling particularly honest that day, I’ll give a description that in no way encompasses the war raging inside my body. Yet, usually only the people closest to me know what it’s…
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One Breath at a Time 