A false fight is what I call it when two characters are fighting because the actors are nervous.

The main antidote: choose not to be offended.

First, let’s look at how false fights happen.

Top Of Scene False Fights

False fights usually happen at the start of a scene.

Suggestion: plate

Someone starts washing dishes. Gets nervous that the other person can’t tell what he’s doing and says:

“Hey are you going to help me with these dishes?”

The other person gets offended and says “What? I told you I’m busy doing our taxes!”

And they’re both mad.

That’s a false fight. There’s nothing in the lines to justify an argument.

SIDE NOTE: Washing dishes in improv scenes always leads to people being offended. It’s funny once you notice it!

Giving Gifts False Fight

Another common false fight: giving gifts.

Either someone gives the gift but it sounds like an accusation. And the other person rejects it on reflex.

“Wow, you really love listening to the radio.”

The other person gets offended and rejects it.

“Listening to the radio is weird? Why are you paying so much attention to what people do?”

It feels like they are stalling. They’re thrown by the gift so they’re trying to slow everything down.

I recently saw a set where the characters seemed offended in every line.

“Wow, so you have your own tuxedo?”
”Yeah, so what? What, you DON’T have a tuxedo?”
”No, I do! Who said I didn’t? I have like two tuxedos!”
”TWO! Wow, that’s so many. It’s weird how many tuxedos you have.”
(remembering the thing they meant to talk about) “When are we going to talk about what we’re doing for your birthday?”
”What, you forgot about my birthday? You don’t like me?”
”I didn’t forget! I’m just.. I got your a gift! It’s a bird! You always talk about how much you like birds!”

If they’d been aware of it, it would have been great!

But instead they just slowed everything down by being offended and getting mad.

It was a big long false fight. Everyone was too nervous to just say yes. So they got offended.

Which just leads to other people getting offended.

Don’t Fight?

The advice you give to new improvisers is: don’t fight.

But that’s beginner advice.

The REAL advice if you can fight either when it’s EARNED or when it’s FUNNY.

Earned Fights

Earned fights - something has happened that a character would almost HAVE to be offended by. It’d be unrealistic to not noticed it.

“You’re fired. And I don’t care what you think.”
”But I’ve worked here eight years!”

That can be okay. It’s authentic.

Funny Fights

Even better, when you’re offended by something because it’s funny.

I know, I know - funny is a dangerous word. But the truth is it’s okay to be offended if it’s funny to be offended.

“And here’s your seat, right by the buffet bar.”
”Oh I see. You think I can’t handle walking far.”
”Uh, no, this is actually a good seat.”
”Not to me. I’m insulted. Deeply insulted.”

Plugs

• The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC! You can join our mailing list if you want our weekly announcement of shows.

• How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print (also on my web site for more if you don’t want to buy from Amazon). It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re short of funds and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.