I spent the past 25 years or so playing amateur football, winning the odd tournament and even managed to play some league matches with my girlfriend’s son and his mates who are 30 years my junior (which I wrote about here). But as is always the case with age, it became increasingly apparent that while I still loved the game, my body just couldn’t do it any more. A lower back injury snowboarding made me re-evaluate what I was going to do going forwards as an hour of football a week meant I’d spend the rest of the week hobbling around, stretching, training and recovering just to play. And I was only getting slower and worse.
Gym work which I talked about in Staying Fit in Your 40s (I’m 50 now) will always be a part of my life but I needed something more. Something to train for. Something a bit competitive and ideally with other people. And it turned out the answer came courtesy of my girlfriend’s son again. He started training Brazilian jiu jitsu and was loving it. I’d followed the UFC since the start and was well aware of jiu jitsu but thanks to my total lack of hip mobility I always figured it was something I couldn’t do. I was discussing this with my physio while he was sticking his elbow into my lower back (while recovering from that back injury) and it turned out he was a blue belt (now purple belt) and said I’d be fine so should definitely give it a try. No more excuses!
Once my back injury was rehabbed and I had returned to a decent fitness level I contacted my local jiu jitsu gym and turned up for a trial class. I’d done plenty of research online so knew what to expect and that I was going to have to leave any ego I still had at the door. I wasn’t nervous, just curious to see if it was something I’d be able to do and replace what I lost quitting football. The answer a year later was yes and yes! But it’s tough, really really tough.
If you’re interested in Brazilian jiu jitsu yourself there are far better resources online to talk about it than me, but what I can do is give a good perspective on a 50 year old with no martial arts experience giving it a go.
Jiu jitsu is a grappling based martial art where the goal is to score points (which you can do from take downs and gaining various pinning positions) to win or submit the person where you put them in a position to hyper-extend a joint, strangle or smother them. Which sounds terrible, but you tap the person when you’ve had enough, they release and you can reset (unless you’re in a competition whereby you’ve just lost). Sounds simple enough but there is almost endless variability to the techniques people apply and for every offensive move there is a counter which can also be countered and so on. People compare it to chess and personally I suck at chess which indeed makes it a very good comparison it turns out!
Any illusions I had that I’d pick it up quickly were very much dispelled. I was used to trying a sport, immediately getting the hang of it and then being pretty good at it. With jiu jitsu I was definitely not a natural, it felt like my brain was thinking in slow motion to understand what was happening and what I was supposed to be doing and month after month after month I continued to find it ridiculously hard to learn. And a year later? While I’ve definitely improved, the more I’ve learned the more I realise there still is to learn. It’s a common line that people say how much they suck at jiu jitsu and that’s certainly true. But honestly, I really suck at it!
Some days you’re the hammer and some you’re the nail. But for the past year I’ve been 99% the nail and that’s ok with me!
The class structures tend to start with a self defence move or a take down which you drill, then work on some specific moves that you practise with your partner, then there’s positional sparring where you try to apply what you’ve just learned while your partner resists within a specific set of conditions, then you switch around. It’s an excellent workout both physically and mentally. Not helped by the fact that most other people are half my age or less. But you learn that your body can do all sorts of interesting things when you’re shown how and that tiny details make huge differences. However progress is slow and much more experienced people make it look easy, but do reassure you that they found it difficult too and while they’re clearly way beyond me, they still feel like they suck too. There are levels to this game.
I wondered initially how I’d feel with such close contact to other people, wrapping my legs around them, them around mine, being crushed and squashed, strangled, etc. But I found it didn’t bother me at all. I’m totally focussed on learning and I never get claustrophobic so almost immediately holding a conversation with someone while they mount you and try to strangle you seemed perfectly normal. Plus there’s a core understanding that if you want anything to stop that you’re not happy with you tap and it’s all over. Nobody wants to actually hurt you, they all just want to learn and improve too. I’ve found it to be a very positive and supportive environment and actually not violent at all. A more chilled group of people you’re unlikely to meet! Although they could kill you if they wanted to – which is probably why – nobody is trying to prove how tough they are.
A few months in and I was deemed experienced enough to start sparring. And this is where things really got interesting.
Sparring involves 6 minute rounds (I think? I never look at the clock) of one on one jiu jitsu where you can choose to start standing or sitting. And then, if your name is John Conners, you proceed to be absolutely destroyed. I’ve been thrown around like a rag doll by women half my size, kids a third of my age, athletes at their peak and reassuringly by people over a decade older than me. And I’ve loved every minute of it! The first time I sparred with a woman (who absolutely destroyed me by the way) I was so impressed as it gave me a glimpse of the potential of jiu jitsu when you actually have skill (which, to be clear, I do not). My size and strength advantage was irrelevant as I continually found myself being throttled by my own gi. I’ve been arm barred, strangled, triangled and generally beaten up more times than I can count and it was a very very long time before I actually managed to get a legitimate tap myself (meaning I submitted someone else). But I really didn’t care at all because I’m not interested in winning or losing, I’m interested in learning something that people who’ve spent 20 years doing still feel like they have a huge amount to learn. That’s the fun of it.
The other cool thing is if someone submits me in a roll (which is what sparring is known by) I can just ask “what did you do there?” if I don’t understand and they’re happy to show me and walk through it. They’ll tend to tell me what mistake I made that led to them seeing an opening and taking it. The idea being if I can learn to defend it then they have to try something else and it makes them better too. I’d initially worried that being so useless I was wasting the time of higher belts but in fact they’re able to practise things on me that someone of similar or above skill level won’t let them get away with so again they improve. And I learn how to defend and slow them down (or at least that’s the idea). Everyone learns and everyone improves.
I was looking for something to keep me fit and active as I get older. But something that I can learn and would challenge me mentally too was what I needed. With Brazilian jiu jitsu I’ve found both.
I’m not in competition with anyone else just myself. I don’t have to keep up with the kids, I just go at my own pace and do my best. While a lot of days I’m getting crushed and feel like I’m getting worse, I’m usually able to take something positive with me, like making it harder to submit me than usual. Or maybe I’m finally able to sweep someone and get into an offensive position. Small, incremental gains. It’s such a great leveller that I can learn from a teenager who might in the outside world look to me as someone who knows what they’re doing (hah, little do they know!). The great thing about sport is it’s your ability that counts, not who you are, what you do outside for work or anything else. I feel at home in an environment like that surrounded by fit, motivated, active people where I’m just another guy who sucks and is trying to get better.
Much like football I’ve had to contend with injuries along the way. Rib and muscle pulls are common as having people crushing you is something that takes time to get used to. I’ve sprained an ankle (been there before). And those inflexible hips I mentioned do take a hammering. While they’re improved a bit, I have a couple of old football injuries that can flare up and cause me to take a bit of time to recover and rehab (I know, I know, I need to do more yoga!). Plus until I got the hang of break falls I’d dread getting thrown on the ground as I’d often land flat on my back which would hurt for days. I won’t be trying judo any time soon. Recovery takes a lot longer now I’m 50 but I listen to my body when it needs a rest and it’s all good fun – if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it!
So here I am a year in, a four stripe white belt – the belts go white > blue > purple > brown > black and generally you get up to 4 stripes along the way on each belt – and I’m definitely far better than I was a year ago. When I’ve been paired with people doing a trial class it’s apparent how much that progression has been. While it’s been obvious that people wearing a coloured belt are way better than me from my first days, I’m now starting to understand just how big the skill gaps are and what a huge mountain it is to climb. And that there actually is no summit. And that I use mountain climbing analogies way too much for my own good.
The old proverb “the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is now” definitely applies to Brazilian jiu jitsu for me. I wish I’d quit football and started a decade ago. But I’m glad I found it now and I’ll keep at it as long as I can. I’m always going to suck at it, but I’ve never been afraid to embrace the suck!
If you yourself have ever considered giving it a go. Maybe you have a competitive spirit and want to compete. Or you want to learn self defence. Or are just looking for something new to try. Then I’d highly recommend finding a gym and giving it a try. It’s such an adaptable sport that no matter your fitness level or whether you have disabilities, you can learn and become proficient. And no matter how old you are as I’ve discovered it’s totally accessible. But as with most things in life you have to remember you’re only in competition with yourself. And that nothing worth doing is easy. Keep that in mind and you’ll love it. Give it a shot, you won’t be any worse than me!
