Happy 2014

Fearless (Xmas 2013 - Part II)

So, on Saturday Bro and his family came over.
Again, the "full" pics are here, respecting Bro´s wish to not show pics of his family to strangers - friends are welcome, though, just let me know.

It took a short while, then little Niece was ok with me - and Ingo even (he´s way taller and louder than the men she interacts with).

I got a pressie that had been forgotten under the Christmas-tree - Niece herself helped making it:

Seems like that uncomphy chair is our "permanent Christmas-tree" now.
There was no George Bailey this time anyway.

We went to the city.
By car.
On a Saturday.
Because they wanted to. Well, it took forever to find a place to park the car. I wish I was that patient, even little Niece stayed absolutely calm.

Finally we found a place and Niece couldn´t - and needn´t - to wait for the Christmas-markets.
Right in the car park:

She had to wait later instead, we had something to eat and drink first.
Niece - as her Daddy - loved the Mumme-roast - as the Jerky, btw! :-)

And then... I got three tickets and Niece stormed off:

At first she choose a car.

Then a horse, another horse and on the next market after Ingo got me another stripey tiger duck for the microwave:

On the way to the other market on Daddy´s shoulders:

She hopped on a push-bike - twice. A police-bike was next:

On the back it said "Bitte folgen" - please folllow - which reminded me of when I was in my early twenties.
I had Ingo´s car and was late.
70 km/h was max allowed, a car overtook me, so I thought - especially since it made no sense to not go faster according to the road condition and situation - just....
Well, you guess it. It was the police.
But they let go off me when I explained. No fine, despite being too fast and taking a red light - my Mum used to call it "dark-green" when it just had switched to red.
I bet if the officers had been women, I´d gotten the whole thing... And now, too, being that old ;-)

Next was Donald Duck... I really can´t remember being a child on a carousel, but I got bored pretty quickly now ;-)

Still I got to see how fearless Niece is.
The elefant was already taken - but she made her way on the second (free) seat, right beside a child she never met before.
Are we related????
Last was a bus and then... I´d promised if she dares I´ll join.
I was pretty sure she does not dare.

Guess what.

Next sec I had four tickets. Cause each gondola has 4 seats and Ingo wanted to take pics from the ground.

But when it was our turn they said 2 adults maximum.

Bro got the money for his ticket back and SIL, Niece and I went and Niece certainly wanted to sit at my side.

Her Mum took pics, since I had my hands "full" - she could´ve fallen out after all!

Turned out SIL is afraid of heights just like me.

A great trio we were!

All we - SIL and I - could look at was each other or Niece - who happily looked down and kept asking when it starts while our hearts raceed in fear...

SIL took some blind pics:

One even was ok:

Bro and Ingo asked why none of us waved down like all the other peeps.

Hah.

This was an only time, never again will I get into a Riesenrad, a ferris wheel!
Niece was fearless, she´ll go - with her Daddy.

With a lot of "why"´s we said good-bye. So sad we don´t live nearby.

Terminal Care

... I did this twice, with Bro.
I hope when I die it goes very fast.

We call it "Sterbebegleitung" - leading someone to death. Germans, huh, always straight. We lead.

Now here I sit and cry.

I miss her, my Mum. Also Dad.

I still see her, Mum, so small, asking me if it is over now?
Not once, many times.

With Dad it was different. I saw scenes I wasn´t supposed to so see.
Different hospitals, long ago, time makes it better, too, but it all comes back now.

It.All.Comes.Back.

Have you ever looked in your parent´s eye, thinking, ok. Soon? Soon you will not suffer anymore. And you will be gone. I can never - NEVER - again talk to you. I MISS YOU, MUM!
Sterbebegleitung - what´s with the living?
Yes, I know.
Don´t ask.

Anyone with me???

It hurts, and I had no answer, either to the "when".
And it was my Mum (who should take care of me, I´m still thinking that stupid way).

I want to scream it out, I want to cry, yesterday we tried to forget by going to the Christmas Markets together - it was mostly nice, pics are to come - but it did not help.

Some people - sadly like the one I´m with - have no sense, no underständing, no experience with it.

They just don´t understand the stress you get, the hurt.
Yes. I´ve complained. A lot.
Cause.It.Is:Not.Easy - DO IT ONCE.

Talk to the doctors - if you find them!
Talk to your parent.
Eat - a wee bit.
Explain.
Go to another appointment ... Bro did a lot of research - again, as he did with Dad. It didn´t help - again.
We´re all helpless, the doctors and us.

Ok. The staff at Mum´s last place (this hurts to write) were very nice, really, very. They cared.
And when I didn´t manage with that stupid oxygen mask (...) and asked for help, the carer set it right and caressed the bold spots of my Mum´s head. He talked to me, tried to make it "bearable".

I wanted to thank those guys, got a big gummy-bear-pizza and when I came back - to the place I, Bro and little Niece were born and Mum had died (...) - the whole station had moved - two days! - construction work all over.

I never met them again, I could never say "Thank you".

I have huge difficulties to cope - any advise?

Muuuum!

Mum

There Is A Shining Light Over Her

This is a... I don´t find the right word, not even in German... it´s our true story, some words to my parents, feel free to read along.
The full pics are, in respect of my Bro, over here.
Please feel free to join us, if you are a friend.

Dear Mum. Two years ago today you left us.
Dear Dad. You´re gone even nearly eleven and a half (that´ll be without the "even" on my birthday).

I miss you both.
If Bro´s right you´re still somehow around and have seen this pic above this January or Febuary, your Son sent it to me in October after he´d visited us with Wife and Daughter.
Well, he sent me a link to his online-archive.

Anyhows, I had to cry, yep, Dad, I got your genes.

This pic... amazing.
The sun beams going over your grave and over your Granddaughter, ending like a halo in a reflection of "something".

One could really think this was the two of you...

And she smiles big, your Granddaughter, sitting on the vase of your grave.

I guess she won´t remember you, Mum.

Mum´s Birthday 2010

But she grew up finding it natural to visit her Omi and Opi on the graveyard by their stone, helping plant flowers on their grave and watering them, too.
Actually getting the water herself the "minute" she could walk safely on her own.

When leaving your grave the first months she waved into the sky and said "goodbye Omi and Opi", by now I suppose...
well I don´t know what this place means to her.

She has pics of both of you, certainly.

Oh, Mum.
Remember when this little girl made some of her first unsecure steps in your apartment, getting me those "bear"- clothes-peg, hanging onto her Daddy´s chair?
One, a second, a third... and then she looked over to you.

She waited. Then took all her courage and made all the steps without any help over to you to give you the "bear"!
And smiled so lovingly and proudly, warming our hearts.

Do you also remember she had an ear infection that made it difficult for her to balance?

She´s as tough as you.
Sorry, Dad, it´s true, we were and are different.

Bro´s idea has a tad truth in it, at least in the sense that as long as we don´t forget you, you´re still here.

You´re here and I miss the two of you so.

We´ve Never Seen The Ocean

Just gotta share - was a great show for his 50th birthday.

One of his besties apart from Keinohrhase and Zweiohrküken.

No, one of his besties, "Knocking On Heaven´s Door" with Jan Josef Liefers:



Who came to the show, too, the two best German actors in my eyes.

As the Mafioso say: "In heaven, that´s all they talk about - the ocean."

(Not) Dreaming Of A White Christmas

I dreamed last night my Dad came home - to our old home. He walked in, was "healthy", took me in his arms and didn´t stop crying.
On my birthday to the day he´ll be gone 11 1/2 years.
He just didn´t stop and he didn´t let go of me.
We were never close, too similar.

And I felt bad cause I hadn´t visited him even once in hospital.
What stupid nonsense, sure I did. Have been driven from Braunschweig to Wolfsburg to work and after that to Göttingen to him every second day - last one is 140 km one way.
Though, truth be told, he indeed never visited me in hospital back then.
But what is this all about?

Spouse dreamed of his late Grandma last night and doesn´t (want to?) talk about it.
Guess one of us had a bad dream, talked in sleep and the other picked it up?

Sunday 2 years ago Mum left us - why do I dream of my Dad???

Don´t even dare to talk to Bro about it, it´s his holiday, I don´t wanna ruin it.

Perth V

Again I´ll mix what I "blogged offline" in Wanneroo and pics I got now. Seesh. It´s nearly a month by now we´re back over here in beloved Braunschweig. Yet... We still didn´t manage - due to that nasty weather, please excuse us for that, and for the shops being stricly closed after Christmas - to let the kukaboora´s get a properly setting. I even don´t know where to go, Grace... But we´re at it!

Here comes from early November:

Starting right in front of the door, waiting for the Transperth-bus:

Mon, 12.11. - We met Mandi today! It´s awesome to meet fellow bloggers/FB-friends and it does make click again. Just a rather short chat due to work on her side, but it was very nice, thanks a lot for catching up, Mandi! No pic though, awww, I´m bad with this, never know if it´s ok to ask. Me! :-(

Pic sneaked in from later on, hope that´s ok!

  Tue, 13.11. - Freo it was today. Not the prison, just enjoying the Cats - haha, guess this is just for Perthies to understand, huh?

Perth and Freo offer free busses, according to the line it´s the Red, Blue, Yellow and Black Cat. A great service!
We went again via Warwick, which means via Transperth-train.

I have to say it really annoys me when people wear sunglases and seemingly stare at you, just you don´t know.
Annoying.
Other, the pics have to speak.

Freo is beautiful, I got the coolest T-Shirt for little Niece, a croc that really opens it´s mouth.
The sales girl probabaly thought I´m a tad slow, though.
Me: I need it for a three year old.
No, wait. We have winter over there (saying this standing in over 30C is rather hard!) - a 4-year old?

Dec 26th she got it, loved it, but refused to put it on.
Either she didn´t want to wear it over her thick winter-sweater or... was being afraid of the croc? ;-)

Perth IV
Perth III
Perth II
Perth I

Xmas 2013 - Part I

Sorry, due to Bro asking me not to show pics of his family I went private, friends are welcome here, though!

So we went to Bro´s place today.
At first little Niece was shy - well, we haven´t seen each other for months!

But surprisingly quickly she came over to hug me, sit on my lap, play with me - she´d learned so much in this time!

Pic above: We played this 2 1/2 times (thanks to pudding "only 2 1/2") - she won first time and hence let me start the second round.
We laughed a lot and she let me help her, too.

Santa brought her a princess-bed with a slide and she never got tired to show us how great she is at sliding down - gah, I was so in the "game" I forgot to take pics :-(

She is 3 and a bit and can count to 20 already!

I said,
- well, you´re three already, huh?
- Ye-hes.
- So, next summer you turn four, right?
- Yes. Four already, oh. boy-oh-boy!!!!

:-))) Yes, four, boy, is that oooold!

My Christmas-earrings from Perth were a big hit, too.
She sees things like that!

Bro got lunch ready really 12:00 for Ingo - and he had a surprise as well:

Goose. Dry as our Mum did it. YUM!
Niece wanted me to sit by her side - that was what she told me first thing we saw each other, just to hide behind Daddy right away - and that we eat the same food.

Her Grandparents were there as well, it was a very nice day.

So.Much.Energy.This.Kid.Has....

It was really fun.

Exept... I´m getting old!
Or rather... since my accident I am so afraid - Ingo is a safe driver, but the weather was bad and I was ... afraid.
Gah. So fast, too fast for me.
But we´re home safe and sound.

And if the weather gets better they come over to go to the Christmas-markets.

I have a first to tell, btw, too:
I helped going pee.
Niece wanted me to help. That´s a priviledge, right?

But when we were about to leave she did´t hug me or anything, instead she frowned at me even!
Ingo suspects she thought I´ll stay if she refuses to hug me?
It´s still the time of endless why´s btw. And I mean endless.

The "joy" of being just the Auntie - you can escape ;-)

Merry Christmas!

Late... But Here Goes

Merry Christmas!

See how boring we are...

At least they do something for the kids, a little bakery:

9C over here - as my Auntie from Switzerland called it: Like spring :-)

Wishing for springy-weather for the whole season!

Because I can´t be here anymore:

Much more style, huh?

Post on this to come...

Awww..., ok, one last one, looove it:

This one?

Not true.
Gotta bring little Niece her Christmas-pressies from "Down Under" tomorrow.

From Perth, actually.

Perth IV

Sun, 11.11.2013 – Jetlag hit after all. We had a rather hard time, also with eating.
Luckily enough in the afternoon we got an SMS asking if we´d like to see the sun set over the ocean?
We sure did!!
So, our dear friends H and B with their Son came over to pick us up!
And there... there was the ocean - I missed it so much!

If you think I´m crying... No. Yawning.
Guess I was bad company... At times I also laughed...

But next moment...

Getting old, I tell ya!
I really needed someone to cheer me up and entertain me! That was where their Son did a great job, as you can see:

He also did a great job when he sensed I´m getting another wave of tiredness, we just talked - I have to say: He is an awesome boy! Smart, nice and caring. And well behaved!

Boy, btw... the "boys" got along well, too - as mentioned before it´s awesome when you meet someone for the first (or in this case second) time and it feels like you know the other way longer, "just" because you saw him online over years.

Many people say Facebook is evil - wisely used it´s a very good tool, I think.
We met through blogger back then but now FB it is and that´s ok - it helps keeping up with friends who stop blogging.
It even takes blogger in, that´s nice (though comments hence land at FB as well).

Anyhows, yay to wise friends, see this?

They took us to the lights, to Hillary´s Boat Harbor and invited us, knowing we´re not hungry, knowing our stomaches/bodies are on German time, knowing we have to eat.
And guess what, a shared pizza went really down my throat, yay :-)

I found the fact very fascinating that their Son can bite into a lemon just like that - if I hadn´t been that worn out I sure´d taken a pic - if it was just to show when I see a trumpeter a work!!!! :-)

Hillary´s, also beautiful at night...

Thanks again, H and B, it was just wonderful – the sand I got in my shoes went into a little glass-container :-)

I´m getting old, that´s for sure - from that itty-bitty playing in the sand my muscles hurt for days!

We got not only picked up but also got a lift back home, where we fell into bed.
  Aaand. We+d just seen the ad on Banana Boat sunscreen and thought, awww, let`s buy that.

And here´s the version I captured, the manamana-version:-)

No need.
H and B just got it for us... big thanks!
Much better than the screen we brought. Ours is more than just greasy!!!
I „presented“ them with it later, just to underline that Germany is – against what Brian thought – not at all advanced! We.Are.Behind.You. Heaps!
A post on that will follow!

For now - as you see I mixed "offline blogging" with now - today was our last work-day for 2013 - on my side: Thanks to my boss, that´s his christmas-pressie for us - money is a bad idea, you give half to the state. Right, Ingo?...

Happy holiday!

Oh, btw: First pic taken by our friend´s Son (I guess?), I love it - see how my hair gets blown by wind and move - it´s just a symbol of how time flew by in Perth!
Am I glad there is blogging, to keep the memories alive and share!

Perth III
Perth II
Perth I