Fave lyrics here…
“cause I’ve been with witches
and I have been with a queen”
WELCOME WITCHES & WARLOCKS..
(WITCHEROOS..if I may..)
& ENERGY WORKERS..
& HEALERS..
& BEAUTIFUL BEINGS..
..THOSE THAT GET THAT KINDNESS & SUPPORT
***MATTERS***
ALWAYS!
Just to be clear..I started working on THIS blog post..
(actually resurrected from my previous blog, where I also often posted music lyrics & songs..which I am bringing forward into THIS BLOG, in a NEW way..)
BEFORE we found out about Eddie Vedder passing.
I had planned to actually post it at the END of this month..
..when I focus on the SOUL part in my “PILLARs” of
MIND, HEART, BODY and SOUL..
THIS week’s overall focus is MIND.
And WISDOM, is the TOPIC.
BUT..after the past few days I’ve had,
& then Eddie passing,
I decided to bring it forward to this week, with a few changes..
AND..sadly, a few “lessons” that I encountered in the past few days.
OR, not so sadly,
perhaps
As I will explain, & explore.
Made it ESSENTIAL to talk about NOW.
..as this was actually the FIRST time I heard this Ben Harper song (Another Lonely Day), when he performed it with Pearl Jam..
that I actually thought it was Pearl Jam’s song,
initially,
because it was SO in-line, especially lyrically with so much of what Eddie Vedder has written.
The lyrics ALWAYS RESONATED with me.
And they have resonated even more with me, during COVID times,
..and in the past few days, where I have unfortunately dealt with some horrible online harassment, and bullying.
Made worse, made LONELIER..
by the INACTION of someone I thought cared about ME,
that I thought would have the COURAGE, the HEART,
and frankly the BALLS to step-up
and SUPPORT ME.
He didn’t.
THIS made me REALLY OPEN my eyes.
To what friendship IS,
to what KINDNESS even IS.
I think the reason the lyrics resonated with me SO much, was..
..well for starters that line..that I posted at the start of the blog..
“cause I’ve been with witches
and I have been with a queen”
I am a witch.
I haven’t really identified as it, or as one for some time now..
..mostly because of different circumstances,
I had lost of bit of connection to my spiritual side over the past few years
(partially moving back to Calgary, NO time, and also dealing with unexpected health issues, surgery, pain, etc..)
But..in a way COVID (times) has returned me to that blessing.
I prefer to see opportunity in anything “bad”,
hope in times of pain or trouble
(perhaps because I’ve experienced a great deal,
so maybe I HAVE TO..because the other option is to,
just give up),
..and light, within darkness.
And.
I am a queen.
That might seem “arrogant” to say..
(& sadly, there is A LOT of misogyny out there, even from “feminist” men, or other “feminists”/many masquerading as insecure women, in women reclaiming, or claiming their POWER)..
..but every woman is.
It’s just whether she has reached a place,
A point,
where she KNOWS her WORTH.
YET.
And can own it.
Be comfortable with it.
And not let anyone..
ANYONE.
..take it away from her.
I almost did.
And truthfully,
I almost died..
..because I trusted THAT SAME person would be there for me..
~2+ years ago.
He wasn’t then either.
I should have learned that lesson then.
(..along with him NEVER remembering my birthday..
over the course of 10 YEARS NOW
that should be the clear sign of a total asshole)!!!
And what I have discovered, that in lonely days..
..it’s actually NOT about WHO is there for you,
BUT the STRENGTH YOU have inside YOURSELF
to pull yourself through
that MATTERS.
It may sound “sad”, but it isn’t
ONLY YOU HAVE YOU.
So..when someone (lies) and says they “got you/me/etc”
like that person did to me..
..what I came away from that, was the realization(s)
and the reminder that I already KNEW
NO ONE *HAS YOU*, BUT YOU.
And that is OK.
Sure you can ask for help, some may even actually show up & give it.
Sure you can ask for support, some may even actually show up & give it.
Sure you can ask for someone to have your back..some may even actually BE there.
BUT..the ONLY person you can REALLY COUNT ON IS YOU.
That is HARD to consider.
Some never can, or never will GET that.
I learnt this the HARD way,
(too) MANY times.
I have been there for people, who then turned their backs on me, when I NEEDED help & support, or anything the most.
I have had people’s backs, & they have abandoned me, or condoned harassment & bullying against me, like this person in the past few days did.
I have “family” that are “my blood relatives”, that have abandoned when I was most in need, I actually almost died because of what they did.
So, guess what, these people are NOT in my life.
They don’t deserve to be.
Who is in my life.
ME.
I can count on ME.
To show up.
I can count on ME, as that was who saved my life, and has pulled myself from the brink of suicide a few times.
NO ONE else showed up.
NO ONE else who said they’d be there, was there.
It might sound self-defeating.
BUT. IT. ISN’T.
Being able to be fully self-sufficient, and not have to count on ANYONE
..was a blessing brought to my life.
The LAST reminder was from this (so-called) “friend”.
His INACTIONS reminded me, that most people ONLY care about themselves anyway..
..and I always knew this person, this guy was
EXTREMELY SELF-CENTERED, SELFISH & NARCISSISTIC..
I just didn’t know how much, til I thought I could count on him..
..and well..he abdicated ANY responsibility.
AGAIN.
IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE.
THAT TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE *THAT* IN YOUR LIFE!
Let me say that again.
It is better to be alone (& just have yourself, who you KNOW you CAN COUNT ON)..
..than to have fake, false, selfish, self-absorbed people who wouldn’t lift a finger on your behalf
In your life.
Because that is NOT living..
that is dying.
Slowly.
I don’t think I NEED to examine the lyrics in detail
as to HOW they pertain to this..
..however..
the ONE extra piece stands out..
but I'd rather walk alone
than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself
than let you drag me down
AND TRUST ME.
IT. IS. TRUE.
You are better to be/walk alone.
Than “chase” someone who doesn’t want you,
does NOT care at all about YOU.
I’d rather fall (because I *KNOW* I can pick myself back up..by myself)
Than have someone horrible, and unkind, and lacking in ANY ability to take responsibility for his actions, AND straight up MEAN & CRUEL to me even,
by his INACTION(s)..
..in my life.
DRAGGING ME DOWN.
Because a REAL friend,
WILL ALWAYS LIFT YOU UP.
Because a REAL friend,
WILL ALWAYS SHOW UP.
Because a REAL friend,
STARTS WITH YOU FIRST.
So..as I thought about this #WisdomWednesday,
this #WitchyWednesday,
this #WellnessWednesday blog..
that THIS message, this “lesson”
and
I knew that these song lyrics were perfect..
..for what I have been feeling..
on MANY levels.
and for a lesson, in finding TRUTH,
amongst the liars.
And removing them from my LIFE.
Because I GOT ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another Lonely Day (Acoustic – Ben Harper w/Pearl Jam)
(this ^LINK^ in the song title is the the only video I can now find of this version
there is another version, included at the end)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes indeed I'm alone again and here comes emptiness crashing in it's either love or hate I can't find in between cause I've been with witches and I have been with a queen it wouldn't have worked out any way so now it's just another lonely day further along we just may but for now it's just another lonely day wish there was something I could say or do I can resist anything but temptation from you but I'd rather walk alone than chase you around I'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down it wouldn't have worked out any way and now it's just another lonely day further along we just may but for now it's just another lonely day yesterday seems like a life ago cause the one I love today I hardly know you I held so close in my heart oh dear grow further from me with every fallen tear it wouldn't have worked out any way so now it's just another lonely day further along we just may but for now it's just another lonely day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a second acoustic version I found..buried in a
LIVE show of Ben Harper’s,
where it says Eddie Vedder plays guitar with him.
This LINK is directly to Another Lonely Day in the performance.
HOWEVER, it appears that Eddie only played on THIS SONG,
which would also be VERY appropriate for this topic & blog today.
.
.
.
NOTE: This content was never published on my previous blog, but this draft was originally created (with the song lyrics as foundation for a “concept”, not this one here), April 2010.
Unity Integration Studios 